We had our hometeacher over tonight. Isn’t that just the most fun ever? I especially love the threatening talk with the kids before he arrives. The absolutely neccesary, you -WILL- lose -your -lives-if-you-misbehave talk that explains just how angry we will be if they:
1. head butt the hometeacher.
2. Grab the hometeacher in delicate places
3. Scream at your sister while the hometeacher is giving the message
4. Sass mommy and/or daddy in front of the hometeacher
5. Crawl on top of the hometeacher
6. dance/sing/or otherwise torture the hometeacher with your “talents”
Oh, the list goes on, but you get the idea. This happens every time. And every time they bat their long eyelashes and play innocent. “We’ll behave, Mommy” Then the doorbell rings. I’m not sure if it’s the magical tone of the bell, or piercing barks of our poodle, that transforms my sweet children into hideous beasts, but it happens like voodoo! I’m sure it is neither, it’s just that my children have figured out that as long as the hometeacher is here – they are safe! All I can do, as they sing, dance, crawl, grab, yell, and sass is shoot daggers at them from my eyes. Yes, I try to remain calm – “helping” my children to sit quietly on my lap, “kindly” asking them to quiet down and listen, apologizing to the hometeacher for the drool on his suit, the foot in his face, and the strange smell coming from my 5 year old. UGH!
Then the best question of all – “Is there anything I can do for you and your family?” Hmm.. let me think on that. Do you want to adopt 4 children? Maybe pay for boarding school. At least be my alibi for the murder that is about to take place.
Does this happen to everyone, or am I just lucky?? For some reason – our hometeacher keeps coming back! Go figure!