While working on a “year in review” project inspired by Talia Audenart (I’ll post it in a later entry), I was overcome with emotion reliving so many memories – some sad ones, and a lot of great ones! I realized, despite only being here a month, what a positive effect this has had on my children – mostly specifically, my just-turned-six year old. From the day I first layed eyes on her (after a scary low-blood sugar scare) I just couldn’t keep my eyes off of her. She was beautiful! Thick, curly black hair, HUGE eyes that were inquisitive from day one, and the LIPS that I LOVE about my husband. She was good natured yet sassy, a very determined little girl. I hate to say it, but she and I butt heads almost from day one. Problem was – she reminded me of ME in many ways. I found it hard to understand her and, in spite of the similarities in our personality, I had no idea HOW to mother her the way she needed. I felt like a failure! I love her as much as my other children – and never have felt differently for a second, so please don’t misunderstand. It just felt like we were contentious with each other much too often. Maybe she knew how to push my buttons, maybe she was just emotional like me. Who knows. Stress these last couple of years definitely had something to do with it on my end.
Anyway – I digress… Since being here it’s like I’ve discovered a new little girl! I don’t know that she has changed much, but I’VE been able to see clearly enough to see her in a new light. She is passionate about things she loves, and things that irk her. We used to call her the little girl with the little curl…. She is vocal, and smart. She knows when she is doing well, and when she is struggling with something, and she tries hard to improve. She is so creative, so imaginative, so fun. I know she feels misunderstood because she is too often compared with her big sister, who is talented in different ways. I have stopped comparing them, haven’t for a long time, however teachers, relatives, peers seem to do it without thinking and I can see the pain in her eyes when she feels inferior. I feel so protective of her. I don’t want her to feel like she has to fit a mould. I want her to explore who she is, her strengths, the ways she blesses the lives of those around her in her own unique way. She is turning into a beautiful young woman who I get more and more excited to know better. I hope we will continue to improve our relationship and grow closer as each day passes.
She had a fun birthday party – two friends from church and two from school, along with her siblings. We decorated with a homemade banner and streamers (her own design – I just implemented it) She was giddy with excitement – especially opening the fun gifts her friends brought her. She had both boys and girls at her party – she gets along with both very well – and they spent a lot of the party just playing with toys and laughing. It wasn’t overly organized (I know, a shocker for me) and it was nice. Remember, we had just gotten over being sick this week – I was happy to take it easy. I made little treat bags with these fun little toppers I lifted from Becky Higgin’s blog a while bag. Thought they were such a neat idea. I think the kids all enjoyed themselves, and I know my daughter did. I hope I was able to make her feel as special as she is on her special day!